NEPOTISM WE PRETEND TO HATE IT, BUT SECRETLY NEED IT

Nepotism—a word often connoted negatively, alone capable of triggering heated debates across rooms. In recent times, it has received such intense criticism that a preconceived notion has taken root that nepotism is a bad thing. That it is the enemy of fairness, the graveyard of merit, and the most regressive feature of any profession. However, let us pause and take a step back. Strip away the emotions and controversies recently attached to this word, and you will discover that nepotism is neither new nor inherently negative. In fact, for centuries, it has been one of the strongest social fabrics keeping communities and professions in order.

If we go back to ancient India, professions were not random choices, but inheritances. Son of a carpenter grew up to be a carpenter. A barber’s child became a barber. A teacher’s child, more often than not, took forward legacy of teaching. At first glance, it might look like rigidity. But in reality, this was foundation of an efficient & self-sustaining society.

Each community had a defined role, and that role was not just about earning a livelihood. It was about service to larger system. Carpenters ensured houses were built, farmers kept bellies full, teachers nurtured wisdom, masons raised monuments that still stand today.

There was no vacuum, no shortage of skill, no scramble for identity. Every profession was nurtured with care and handed over to the next generation. This continuity, what modern critics call nepotism, was not exclusionary. It was order. It ensured that no trade died out, no expertise disappeared, and no society collapsed from a lack of structure. A child born in a family of musicians is not simply advantaged, they are immersed. From birth, they absorb ragas, rhythms, and performance. By the time they are adults, they are not beginning at zero but building upon generations of accumulated artistry. This applies across the board. A doctor’s child grows up overhearing medical stories. A business owner’s child sits through dinner table conversations on profits, losses, and risks.

An actor’s child spends time on sets, absorbing the nuances of performance. Are these children “unfairly privileged”? Or are they simply continuing a legacy that has, in many ways, prepared them better than any textbook could? Continuity is capital. It is not just about money or power. It is about knowledge, instinct, and cultural inheritance. Nepotism, at its heart, is a form of that capital - the passing of wisdom and expertise from one generation to the next. A society cannot function if every generation decides to start afresh. Societies survive and prosper when roles are predictable, expertise is deepened, and skills are preserved. Nepotism gave us that order. It created a system where professions and trades did not vanish in a single generation. It ensured that every profession is continued and took forward with it the rich traditions and cultural value attached to them. Our crafts, from weaving to painting to storytelling, have lived through centuries because families refused to let go of them. Would the gharanas of Hindustani music exist today if not for families passing the art down generation after generation? Would Kathak or Bharatnatyam have survived in such purity if it had not been nurtured within households, protected like sacred fire?

Without nepotism, many of our cultural treasures might have been lost. Far from being regressive, nepotism has been the shield that guarded our heritage. Modern society worships the idea of meritocracy. But is pure meritocracy even real? Every child, whether privileged or not, begins with an environment shaped by their family. A farmer’s child grows up close to the land, an engineer’s child grows up around machines. Their skills, interests, and “merit” are the outcome of that environment.

Nepotism doesn’t kill merit. It simply acknowledges that family and upbringing are the first and most powerful teachers. If merit is the fruit, nepotism is the soil that nourishes it. Of course, every system has its flaws. Ancient India’s hereditary professions became oppressive when mobility was denied. The problem wasn’t in continuity, but in rigidity. Nepotism becomes toxic when it closes doors permanently to outsiders, when it denies opportunity to those with passion and talent who were born elsewhere.

Challenge today is not to destroy nepotism but to balance it. Let inheritance continue but not at the cost of shutting out ambition. A doctor’s child may become a doctor, but so should a student with talent, determination. Both must have room to coexist. What if we looked at nepotism differently? Not as an unfair shortcut, but as a natural system of knowledge transfer. Not as privilege, but as preservation. Not as exclusion, but as continuity.

The truth is simple: what we condemn as nepotism is actually how humanity has always functioned. Families pass down names, wealth, skills, values, and professions. It is not a betrayal of fairness but an affirmation of continuity. Without it, civilizations would collapse under weight of constant reinvention. So next time we roll our eyes at nepotism, let us remember — it may just be the continuity we pretend to hate but secretly need.

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED BY THE AUTHOR ARE PERSONAL

Garima Jajoo, The writer is CHRO at JK Jajoo Venture